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“Marched to the gallows”: Poms have collapsed like they always do
Andrew Slevison • December 22nd, 2025 1:15 pm
Australia has rapidly marched England to the gallows in 11 days.
The Aussies wrapped up the Ashes in the third Test with an 82-run triumph after some nervy moments on Day 5 in Adelaide.
The Poms seemingly had the advantage when Josh Hazlewood was ruled out for the entire series and it only get better for the tourists when captain Pat Cummins missed the first two Tests.
Throw in a Steve Smith illness, a Nathan Lyon injury at crunch time in Adelaide, and some uncertainty around the batting lineup and it is quite remarkable that the Australians hold a 3-0 lead and have retained the urn.
SEN Cricket’s Gerard Whateley believes with all the Aussie misfortune this can be seen as England’s worst recent performance down under.
“In all the drubbings that England have suffered this century on these shores - 4-1, 5-0, 5-0, 4-0, 4-0 - and now this 3-0, this is probably the worst of them,” Whateley said on SEN Mornings.
“An Australian team that was incredibly vulnerable, has worked through all manner of adversity and uncertainty, and still managed to bury England in the quickest possible time.
“In a way this is the Australian way, is march England to the gallows rapidly on these shores. It typically happens in Perth but the fall of these Test matches saw it happen in Adelaide.”
It makes it a much more meritorious achievement given the hosts have been without some of their A-graders while having to chop and change on the fly.
Whateley reckons the English would’ve rated their chances prior to the series but they’ve capitulated as is customary for a touring bunch of Poms.
“It makes it tremendously meritorious for Australia, and this is where I think we should take a moment of extreme pride in what has happened here in the planning, the strategy, the selection, the coaching and the execution,” Whateley added.
“It is that classic (notion) - good teams have all sorts of contributors. They have the headline acts and the stars who drive it, but then everybody chips in when their moment comes. I think that’s the marker of this team across three Tests.
“If you had said to England three months ago, ‘Here’s what we’ll give you - no Hazlewood for the series, Cummins won’t be available for the first two and then Smith will be suddenly ill, we’ll flip openers halfway through the first Test and we’re going to dispense with the 39-year-old (Usman Khawaja) and then bring him back at the last possible moment. You’ll have makeshift in every department, would you like to sign up for those circumstances?’ - I think England would have thought they’d be unbackable favourites given their mood and their mode.
“But they have collapsed like every other English team that seems to come here.”
In the eyes of Whateley, Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum’s England team as a whole is just not quite up to it.
“England will be so unfulfilled. They have good players but I actually don’t think they’re a very good team,” Whateley said further.
“They have no strategic sense or game nuance. I think they have just ben outwitted by Australia at various stages.
“So they can have the hour here or there but they can’t string it together long enough to win a Test match.”
England will get a chance to pull one back in the Boxing Day Test at the MCG which kicks off on Friday.
The SEN Cricket team will be there in Melbourne to bring you every ball LIVE as the Aussies work towards a whitewash.
