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NO ROADS: Whateley’s note for curators after McCullum comments
SEN • November 6th, 2025 8:45 am
Australia must not offer England flat pitches this Ashes series, according to SEN’s Gerard Whateley.
Whateley has long been of the belief that curators around the country must produce bowler-friendly decks to combat England's brazen Bazball, and his thoughts have only strengthened after England’s 0-3 ODI series loss to New Zealand in recent weeks.
England failed to score big across the three games as the top four of Jamie Smith, Ben Duckett, Joe Root and Jacob Bethell combined for just 84 runs.
With pitches in New Zealand favouring seam and England’s top order failing to adapt, coach Brendon McCullum even admitted that the side struggles when there’s “a little bit in” the wicket.
“When we’re confronted with good wickets, like flat wickets, I think we're a very, very good cricket team,” McCullum said.
“I think we play a high-octane style of cricket, and those kinds of conditions suit us.
“When the wickets have a little bit in them, they're a bit more challenging, whether that be spin or a bit of seam or swing, we probably can't quite adapt our tempo quickly enough.
“But I think when we do come across the trickier conditions in Australia and in Test cricket, I feel like we've got a pretty good understanding of how we're going to go about it.
“It doesn't guarantee us anything, but it gives us a level of confidence going into that series, which I'm sure everyone who follows this team and follows Ashes cricket is incredibly excited about what's coming up as we are.”
Following McCullum’s comments, Whateley and veteran cricket journalist Robert Craddock think it’s just further proof that the visitors should cop green tops across the country for all five Tests.
Whateley thinks that there’s no way England’s attacking style will work on those types of decks across so much cricket, with probing Aussie bowlers like Josh Hazlewood clearly getting the advantage in the conditions.
Whateley: “England are due on our shores, and I'm sending that (McCullum’s quotes) to every curator in the country, and the subject line in caps reads: NO ROADS.”
Craddock: “You're right. Spicy decks are the way to go. In these three One Day games in New Zealand, the combined total of the English top 4 was 84 runs… they just couldn't play on seaming decks because, as Brendon McCullum admitted, they have no first or second gear.
“That means in Australia, if we get these spicy decks, you won't even have to put a pilchard on the hook (to get them to play).
“After seeing this three-match One Day series… You must have strength in your conviction that we must have dodgy decks this summer.”
Whateley: “Don't let them do it their way. Either watch them perish or make them do it another way, but don't feed them what they want.
“I think they have corrupted cricket in England by producing those decks instead of the green seamers that cricket on those shores has always been, and they've done it for the strengths of their team. Don't feed that.
“I've been watching Josh Hazlewood bowl across the ODIs and the T20s. Just give him something to work with. That batting lineup that England has will not prevail against Hazelwood on seaming pitches.
“They just will not be able to handle it. Death or glory? It'll be death if we provide proper pitches.”
The first Test between Australia and England begins on November 21 at Optus Stadium. Catch every ball of the Ashes on SEN - your home of cricket.
