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"Not worth living": Ugle-Hagan on rehab, rock bottom and trade
SEN • June 22nd, 2025 11:47 am
Western Bulldogs star Jamarra Ugle-Hagan has opened up on his journey since stepping back from AFL football.
The troubled star, who is yet to play in 2025, has been on indefinite leave from the club and last month checked into a health retreat as he continues to deal with previously undisclosed off-field issues.
Ugle-Hagan returned to training with the Bulldogs last week, with all reports suggesting the 23-year-old is eager to re-join the ranks at the club in the coming months.
Speaking with Rhys Mathieson and Mitch Robinson on the Rip Through It podcast, Jamarra opened up on the difficulties of dealing with his mental health struggles, alongside his desire to return to the AFL.
On his mental health
“All the noises actually sent me to a rehab facility for my mental health,” Ugle-Hagan said.
“It got to a point where I had to give my car to a mate so I couldn’t drive, I just didn’t trust myself driving.
“There were times when I would think about – to be honest with you – just not even worth even living.
“I went through a struggle where I didn’t want to leave the house. I hit rock bottom and found basement.
“Definitely (there were suicidal thoughts). Suicidal thoughts would come pretty frequently.
“Especially when I felt like I was on my own the whole time. The way I was isolated and put out in public.”
“When you are down you want to keep finding an upper. My upper was probably staying and hanging out with my mates and getting on the piss and training with them as well.
“But it just had no end goal, I didn’t have a game. I didn’t have anything.
“My mental health wasn’t in the right space, so I was struggling, and I found it really tough to even enjoy football.
“I lost the fun in it. I didn’t want to play, it wasn’t even a priority because all I wanted to do was find something.
“But I didn’t know what that was until I have had this break.”
On the media
“People say you’ve got to speak up, it’s not weak to speak,” he said.
“I speak, and say I’m struggling, and they go and use that as clickbait to make me feel like the worst…
“This is why I don’t want to talk up, is because you guys make it look like a bad thing.
“There’s AFL footballers out there struggling right now as I’m here, and it’s just going to keep going because they’re not going to talk about it, and they’re men as well which makes it even worse."
On speaking up
“It takes balls to talk in a group but once you do it, it is f---ing amazing, it feels good and they have answers for you,” he said.
“You think you are alone and no one understands.
“But when you speak up and hear people’s stories it makes you feel so much better hearing people’s stories and knowing they’re going through the same thing you are.”
“My best mate rang me on the phone and was about to take his own life and I had to call him out of it, while he was in Warrnambool.
“He come up that weekend and spent it with me and the game was on, that is why I didn’t go.”
On his football
“I want to play footy. I can’t wait to play footy,” he said.
“I want to kick a f---ing goal in front of those crowds.
“I have been watching every single Bulldogs game. I have been supporting them, been watching them.
“I will go to games at the end of the year. I genuinely want to play one more (game), I want to play some games.
“It’s going to be grouse.”
On re-enacting Nicky Winmar’s iconic celebration
“I was angry (about the abuse), sad, and behind doors I was bawling my eyes out. It affected me heaps,” he said.
“Then I was even embarrassed. I said nothing and did nothing. I just didn’t want to go out in public.
“I went out there (the following week) and kicked the first goal and the last and kicked five.
“I was going to point to my mouth guard because it is indigenous colours, but I pointed at my skin and pulled up my jumper and it was the best feeling ever.
“The boys and the team f--- they made me feel good.”
On the Western Bulldogs
“I call the CEO my brother, Ameet Bains, that is my one of my good mates, I love him,” he said.
“I’m good friends with the doctor and good mates with all the boys, there’s different characters.
“You go in there, they look after you and they genuinely love you in there.
“It is just, I will get anxious and have that anxiety about going in (to the club) because I feel like I did (let them down).
“Unfortunately, it was out of my control because my mental health was not in the right spot.
“I thought I was actually going really well, I’m training well.
“Then I was just getting to the end of the week and I felt like I didn’t have the reward.
“It was like ‘When am I playing next? When am I going to play?’”
On trade rumours
“I’m obviously still contracted with the ‘Doggies’ and I still want to play for them, and I want to win a flag,” he said.
“It’s the Bulldogs until my contract runs out and then hopefully, they offer me another one, but we will see how we go.
“They have given me opportunities since day dot, so why can’t I get back?”
On his family
“The upbringing was tough,” he said.
“Yeah I was lucky to have a great family and parents who looked after me and did whatever they could to get food on the table and shoes on your feet.
“But if I didn’t do what I did, I feel that my brothers probably would have went downhill and backwards, so I was the first male to graduate school in the community in a long time.
“It’s hard work. It was tough. It does take a toll and it is only just hitting me even more this year.
“For example, I have seen – I have had multiple cousins take their lives. Even just recently.
“We found our cousin in his room. I found my uncle, or my family found our uncle in the gutter down the road from our house.
“The s--t I have seen. I have seen a lot more than that as well.”
__If you or anyone you know is struggling, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636
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